Discussions and DYNO-MITE!
by Hungarian Coat
Summary: Dumbledore rounds up the cast of Harry Potter to discuss the Fifth Harry Potter book. Or was it oranges? I have no idea! Read to find out. (funny)


Discussions And DYNO-MITE  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter was grown in a lab by JK Rowling, along with all of his creepy friends and related items. I didn't make him up. She did. I washed her labcoats sometimes. By hand!  
  
  
  
Severus: *crosses arms* That is a stupid name for a fan-fic. In fact, it's safe to say, I hate that name.  
  
Remus: Shh! The discussion is about to commence.  
  
Dumbledore: Greetings... I trust you all know why we're here.  
  
Hagrid: Yeh, but if we swim in tomato sauce, th' smell is still there. I know from 'xperience.  
  
*all turn to look at Hagrid*  
  
Dumbledore: Hagrid, please leave.  
  
Hagrid: *shuffles out*  
  
Dumbledore: Right. Any more misconceptions as to why we are here this evening?  
  
Lucius: *raises his hand*  
  
Dumbledore: Yes, Mr. Malfoy?  
  
Lucius: Does it involve oranges?  
  
Dumbledore: Uh... no.  
  
Lucius: Pfft. *leaves*  
  
Flitwick: *leaves*  
  
Madam Hooch: *leaves*  
  
Dumbledore: .... *blink* Anyway... we are here to discuss the Fifth Book in the Harry Potter series.  
  
Filch: *leaves*  
  
Ludo Bagman: *leaves*  
  
Dumbledore: Good god, why on earth did you all think I called you here?!  
  
Madam Pomfrey: Well, I was under the impression that we were to be given recipes.  
  
Sirius: Yes, me too. Recipes to make Deviled Eggs.  
  
Madam Pomfrey: Deviled Eggs? My memo said 'Fried Dough'.  
  
Dumbledore: *taps foot impatiently* I don't care. You're here, and you're staying here.  
  
Madam Pomfrey: We are not! Let's go, Sirius!  
  
*they stand*  
  
Saruman: I don't think so. *shuts the door in their faces with his mystical Lord Of The Rings powers*  
  
Dumbledore: Thank you, Saruman. *tosses him a biscuit*  
  
Saruman: Yay!  
  
Remus: So, discussing the 5th book? Well, I think it's safe to assume that Harry... *thinks for a moment* Will be.. male.  
  
Dumbledore: *nods* Yes, I agree. It is quite probable.  
  
Sirius: It will probably be somewhere between 1 and 1000 pages long... and I think 'Harry Potter' will be in the title.  
  
Dumbledore: Interesting... *strokes beard*  
  
Severus: All right, who wants to bet that Rowling will try to convince everyone that I'm the villain once again?  
  
Remus: I'm in. *slaps down 2 sickles*  
  
*BOOM*  
  
Muffled Voice: LET ME IN!  
  
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, Ludo. -You chose to leave.-  
  
Ludo Bagman: *throws himself at the door again; primal scream*  
  
McGonagall: What do you mean I'm cross-eyed?  
  
*all blink at her*  
  
McGonagall: Oh, I'm sorry. I could have sworn you accused me of being cross- eyed just then.  
  
Severus: Oh... oh, I did. But that was a few weeks ago.  
  
McGonagall: *stares into space*  
  
Dumbledore: Merlin, you've all become blithering morons!  
  
Severus: *clears throat*  
  
Dumbledore: Oh dear, sorry Severus. Not you.  
  
Ron: *clears throat*  
  
Dumbledore: ....no, you're definitely a blithering moron. Sorry.  
  
Ron: *sigh* S'okay. *blithers*  
  
Voice: ...love to kill...eat...crush brains....  
  
Harry: Blimey, did you all hear that?  
  
All: No.  
  
Harry: It's another Basilisk!  
  
Voice: ...kill...kill...host...talk show... embarrass guests...  
  
Severus: Wait... I heard it that time...  
  
Remus: Me too!  
  
Sirius: It's not a Basilisk... *dramatic pause* It's Rosie O'Donnell!  
  
All: BWAAAAAA!  
  
*they run around like idiots, screaming*  
  
Rosie: *leaps out of an air vent* HISS!  
  
Severus: *shields face* Don't look into her face... her jolly expressions spell certain doom! *pause* ..... *throws Harry at Rosie*  
  
Harry: NOOOOO! *bursts into flame*  
  
Rosie: Eee-hee-hee-hee! *crashes through the door and dances off into the castle*  
  
Dumbledore: *chiding tone* Saruman...  
  
Saruman: *hangs head in shame*  
  
Sirius: *shakes Severus by the shoulders* We have to stop her! She'll murder all the students!  
  
Severus: *long pause* .....so?  
  
Sirius: *shakes him again* All of them!  
  
Severus: And?  
  
Sirius: *shakes him some more* Damn you, Severus!  
  
Severus: *being shook* You're bruising my brain!  
  
Dumbledore: Sirius, stop, you're bruising his brain.  
  
Sirius: *sighs and lets Severus go* But what of Rosie?!  
  
Dumbledore: Oh, she's already been forgotten.  
  
Sirius: Forgotten? By who?  
  
Dumbledore: By you, of course... *taps Sirius with his wand*  
  
Sirius: *stares blankly for a moment* ........so, I said 'Anchovies? You're kidding me! MY pants are made out of denim!'  
  
All: *nod*  
  
Sirius: Wow... tough crowd.  
  
Ludo Bagman: *rushes into the room, foaming at the mouth* Bet! Where's the bet? BETBETBETBETBETBET-  
  
*BANG*  
  
Ludo: *slumps over, dead*  
  
Severus: *lowers his smoking shotgun*  
  
Dumbledore: Severus, where did you get that?  
  
Severus: *points* From Arthur Weasley.  
  
Arthur: Hullo.  
  
Severus: He also sells teapots shaped like roosters.  
  
All: *hearty laughter*  
  
McGonagall: ...a week ago, Severus? You're kidding!  
  
THE END  
  
Author's Note: Please review! Mmm... the letter M. 


End file.
